Restitution for Parents

Parenting has perhaps never been more challenging than it is today.  We want to be supportive and nurturing of our children, but we also don’t want them to be spoiled and entitled.  We want to be involved in their lives and have strong relationships, but we don’t want them to be dependent and become helicopter parents.  And no matter what we do, there is some “expert” out there telling you what to do, and no shortage of relatives, friends and everyone on social media telling you that whatever you are doing is wrong.

You may have tried punishment to try to encourage your child to behave, only to find that you are caught in a cycle of yelling and anger.  You may have tried rewarding your child, only to find that they start to demand a parade be held for every time they simply do what’s expected. 

You may also have experienced moments where the enormity of the job we as parents becomes overwhelming.  Even if we get our kids to behave, are we helping our children to become motivated, independent, responsible, self-disciplined problem solvers?  

Restitution is different.  Instead of focusing on external rewards and punishments to teach children, Restitution is based on the understanding that for true learning to occur, the process that children must engage in is an internal one.  Without a child looking inside themselves, considering their own values and the person they want to be, too often the focus is kept on pleasing others or avoiding consequences instead of doing things for the right reasons.  

Instead of fighting against our kids, wouldn’t it be nice to be on the same side—working together to fix problems, learn skills and be better people?  Restitution will give you the skills the be the kind of parent you want to be.